Art of conversation
Everybody's found themselves trapped in that familiar social horror: being faced with a complete stranger and wanting more than anything to break the silence which stretches out awkwardly between you. In these situations, you need some guaranteed to break the ice and start a conversation.
The art of conversation
Conversation is of two basic types:
Conversation for its own sake
Conversation for some other purpose
Politicians, preachers, salesmen, lobbyists, etc. practise the latter.
Conversation for its own sake has two distinct aims:
The ability to talk well can be cultivated.
To really become a good conversationalist over the long term it is necessary to acquire the habit of conscientiously stocking your mind with facts and information and then forming opinions on the basis of that knowledge.
A monologue is not a conversation.
Silence plays an important part in effective conversation just as it does in music.
Masters of the art of conversation rarely give advice, and then, usually, only when requested. It is given tentatively and without seeming to impose their wishes.
The secret of giving advice successfully is to mix it up with something that implies a real consciousness of the adviser's own defects, and as much as possible of an acknowledgment of the other party's merits.
To plant a suggestion is a real test of conversational skill.
Ever wonder why mastering the art of
conversation is so
important? The art of conversation is a skill shared by most
successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of
self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness. Unless you master
the art of conversation you will never realize your true potential
Why else should you learn the art of conversation? People who
always seem to rise to the top of their professions and are well
respected by others who share the ability to converse with
anybody in every situation.
People who seem to speak effortlessly and efficiently with
others are generally well liked and highly successful. This is
because they spent time learning the art of conversation.
If you need to improve your conversational skills, here are
a few tips that can help you enhance your conversational
skills and boost your image.
1. Always say what you think, not what you think others
want you to say. Especially in a professional setting,
learning to express your views and ideas in a positive,
non-threatening manner will invite reactions and responses.
Effective leaders always say what they are thinking and
express their ideas freely. The art of conversation is based
on being yourself.
2. Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often
interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their
ability to hear what people are intending to say.
By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear
what they intend for you to hear instead of what you want
to hear. Remember, the art of conversation includes the
ability to listen to others as well as the ability to speak
3. Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they
mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning
and coherence (связь, логичность) to the words they are saying and give them
the respect of hearing what they want you to hear.
In any conversation, the ability to give respect is just as
important as receiving it. The art of conversation is a
give and take between parties, not one speaker and one
4. The art of conversation can be broken down into three parts.
The first part is small talk. Small talk is dictated by
social rules and includes polite greetings, inquiries about
the well-being of others, etc.
Stage two is the end of the small talk and moving on to the
purpose of the conversation such as business, the sharing
of opinions and personal views.
Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, the
conversation can easily slip back into small talk,
lessening the chances of accomplishing the initial goal of
The third part of a conversation is where the various ideas
and views expressed can be merged into a satisfying end for
all parties involved in the conversation.
The art of conversation is a learned skill that is common
among successful, energetic people. If you are unable to
effectively express yourself in any situation, you will
likely find that you do not attract the attention and
command the respect that is bestowed upon some others.
Ready for some good conversation tips?
Good conversation is an important skill in almost every
situation. Whether it's on the job, with spouse or
children, in a social setting or everyday life, good
conversation is important.
It's the way we communicate with others and often is then
the way we are seen or perceived by others. Good
conversation is based on a sensitivity to others. Good
conversation therefore is a learnable skill once you pay
more attention to others.
Developing good conversation skills will allow you to feel
more at ease when conversing with others and will help
you say what you really want to convey.
1. Think about your tone, for good conversation it should be
pleasing, not too loud or too soft.
If you are talking too loudly you might be considered an
unpleasant conversationalist and who will want to talk to
you? Good conversation requires you to be agreeable.
If you are speaking too softly and people have to strain to
hear you, they might get tired of trying to listen. This will of
course prevent a good conversation developing.
2. Think about some things you might need or want to say
before you are at that job interview or party if you want to
ensure a good conversation.
It will be helpful to think this through and even practice
out loud. You will come across as being confident and
intelligent. You can almost guarantee good conversation
by preparing thoroughly in advance of the event.
3. Don't feel you need to dominate in order to have a good
Even if you are quite charming it won't be long before
others are weary of hearing the same voice. Good
conversation does not mean taking over the conversation!
Keep this in mind and it will be easier to have a good
4. How will you handle unpleasant conversations?
Remember not conversations start off looking
like a potential good conversation.
What will you do if you are criticized or if someone
disagrees with you? Think of ways to face these
situations before they happen.
To have a good conversation you need to be flexible and
be ready to handle difficulties that crop up. The art of having
good conversation does not mean everything goes smoothly
at all times.
If you can remain calm and fairly pleasant during the tough
talks you will improve and acquire good conversation skills. You
will also earn a reputation as someone who can easily be talked
5. Think of your last embarrassing conversation, one that was the
opposite of a good conversation.
How did you do? Could there be improvement? If the answer
is "yes" begin by figuring out why the conversation
was embarrassing. This will help you to develop good
Let's say someone asked you when you are planning to have
children. Even though this may not be anyone's business how
do you want to respond?
You do have choices. You can be funny, charming, rude or
elusive. Again, plan ahead for some of these questions and
decide how you want to react.
As you learn how to start a good conversation and find them
more of the time you can have good conversation your confidence
will soar and you will get better and better.
6. One of the most important parts of good conversation is
listening. It's a gift and a skill, one that you can
develop if it doesn't come easily for you. Good conversation
is impossible without good listening skills.
Don't forget to listen because it is essential for good
conversation skills! Neglect this key skill and it will be
virtually impossible to have a good conversation.
Good conversation is a learnable skill so keep at it and
you will improve. The only way to fail is to expect good
conversation to happen without any work on your part.